


Three Thirds Make A Whole

by WritinRedhead



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Life and Confusing Feelings After Scarif, Multi, Polyamory, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-02-26 05:42:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13229226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritinRedhead/pseuds/WritinRedhead
Summary: “You got us out. You really got us out.”Bodhi swallows and nods, burning the image of Cassian and Jyn, breathing and leaned against each other, into his memory. Less than a week ago he’d never met either of them. Right now he feels like he’s known them a lifetime.Little does he know that their new life together is only just beginning.





	1. It's Okay

**Author's Note:**

> I have started writing and plotting this story a long time ago (relatively speaking *looks at R1 release date*), but it is quite dear to me and I decided to start the year with a fic bang and the New Year's resolution to finally start sharing and continuing this fic.
> 
> A big thank you to [ SassySnowperson](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DramaticEntrance/pseuds/SassySnowperson) for her betaing and good advice. I appreciate it a lot, dear.

The smokes burns his eyes.

Even above ground, in the cockpit of yet another stolen shuttle, it’s making his eyes water and he has to blink to get a clear view of the long stretch of beach under them, scanning for two familiar figures. The smoke is everywhere - as are the flames.

The console beeps. Two humans detected, one male, one female, not more than half a kilometer south.

“Yes! Okay, listen.” Bodhi tears his eyes away from the disaster outside, starting to frantically flip switch after switch on the flight instrument panel. His fingers hurt with every switch he touches, his arms ache, protesting each time he lifts them higher than his elbows, and his face is burning - his whole body hurts. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he is surprised to find that his legs are the exception. He can’t feel them at all. That’s probably something he should worry about, but he doesn’t have the time.

“I’m gonna try and get us down, low enough to get them in, but it’ll have to be quick! Kay, do you hear me?” He is yelling, because the crumbling planet around them refuses to die quietly, but also because everything he does hear sounds oddly muffled in his head. “We won’t have much time before they’ll notice we’re not one of their evacuation shuttles and start taking shots at us. Get Cassian and Jyn, and then we’ll get the hell out of here!”

“Understood.” The droid nods and leaves the co-pilot seat. “I will act as expediently as possible,” he says and positions himself near the shuttle hatch.

Bodhi throws a quick glance over his shoulder into the main part of the ship. Baze is hunched over on the floor, cradling an unconscious Chirrut in his lap. Chirrut had still been awake just a few minutes ago, but apparently had been knocked out sometime in the last few minutes by his  injuries. A flash of worry shoots through Bodhi. The fraction of a second hadn’t been enough to see whether or not Chirrut was still breathing. He’s just... _still_.

Bodhi owes them his life. Had it not been for the two guardians yanking him out of the shuttle, he would have been blown to pieces along with it. Instead, he sits at the helm of another stolen Imperial shuttle, identical to the first, aside from the part where it wasn't exploded, planning to rescue two of the very rebels that might have just thrown the vital spanner into the Empire’s works.

Baze looks up and points past Bodhi. “We need to hurry!”

Bodhi’s head snaps back and what he sees is…

Frightening would be an understatement. The sight makes his heart clench and his palms clammy.

The horizon consists of nothing but blinding green light and he quickly averts his eyes. This is the second time in forty-eight hours that he sees a horizon getting swallowed by sheer forces of destruction. The first time, due to a mysterious interplay of chance and divine intervention, he had not been dragged down with it. He isn’t yet sure about the second time.

He pulls the lever for the thrusters next to the console and calls, “Initiating descend… _now!_ K-2, get ready!”

The shuttle goes into hover mode, hanging in the air just a few feet above the shore of the burning planet. The hatch hisses open and fresh smoke and newly stirred up sand blows in when, according to plan, K-2SO leans out and reaches for the two people huddled together on the beach. He first grabs hold of Jyn, being closer, and hauls her in, then wraps his other arm around Cassian, lifting him too, up and into safety. Or at least closer to it than before.

“All aboard and only slightly singed,” K-2SO informes Bodhi, setting down Cassian next to Jyn.

“Kay -” Cassian is interrupted by his own cough and clutches his side as his body shakes. He doesn’t even try to get up, instead leans against the now closed hatch and takes a deep breath once the coughing subsides. He looks up at K-2SO and shakes his head, a disbelieving smile beginning to build. “Force, I’ve never been more glad to see you.”

The droid shortly glances down at himself, before answering. “Technically, you do not see me, this is merely another K-X model with my memory drive - and not even a well-maintained one, I’d like to point out - but I appreciate the sentiment. It’s good to see you too, Cassian.”

Next to him, Jyn drags a hand over her face.

“Thanks,” she says, soft and deeply heartfelt. She reaches out and puts her hand on K-2SO “Thank you.”

It seems to take her an incredible amount of effort, but she pushes herself up on her knees and stands, shakily starting to make her way toward the cockpit.

“Who…” She stops to breathe, shock and exertion fighting her words. “Who’s...flying this thing?”

Jyn leans heavily on the pilot seat just as K-2SO says, “Our pilot, who else?” His tone implies he thinks every other assumption incredibly stupid.

“Bodhi?” She asks, incredulous, and Bodhi can feel a hand touching his hair, Jyn apparently needing haptic proof that he is real.

“Hello,” he says, craning his neck to catch a quick look at her.

Jyn is breathing hard and her eyes are red-rimmed. Of course they were, just moments ago, she must have been convinced that moments were all she had left of this life. Bodhi’s eyes meet Jyn’s and her mouth curves into a relieved smile.

She returns his greeting. “Hi there.”

Now Cassian, too, staggers to his feet, wincing visibly. He’s unsteady and K-2SO catches him lest he falls before making it to Bodhi and Jyn. In the cockpit, Jyn takes over and wraps her arm around his waist. With her supporting Cassian, K-2SO reclaims his position in the co-pilot seat and transfers parts of the controls to his station.

Knowing K-2SO now has a handle on things, Bodhi allows himself another glance back and seeks Cassian’s eyes. They seem tired, so very tired, but they also carry a deep gratefulness.

“You got us out,” he says. “You really got us out.”

Bodhi swallows and nods, burning the image of Cassian and Jyn, breathing and leaned against each other, into his memory.

Less than a week ago he’d never met either of them. Right now he feels like he’s known them a lifetime. Maybe, Bodhi muses, going through something like this alters time, making it go slower while everything around happens way too quickly. Maybe that’s what makes it feel like they’ve lived lifetimes together, why he feels connected to them in a special way. He has no idea if this even makes sense and shakes off the thought. All that really counts is that they’re alive.

“Yeah,” Bodhi mumbles, forcing his attention back on the instrument panel. His eyes are starting to burn more and more and the distant drumming in his ears is constantly getting louder.

“You’re injured,” he hears Cassian point out.

Now that the adrenaline flowing through his system is slowly ebbing, he feels too exhausted to reply, _‘So are you’._

He barely registers Jyn’s voice calling out his name; Cassian also says something, but Bodhi is having trouble understanding him over all the noise, the drumming is just too loud.

Once they break the atmosphere and the familiar pull of jumping into hyperspace fades, so does his consciousness. Everything around him fades to black. But that’s okay. He got them out.

 


	2. After the Fire

Bodhi had always liked the smell of caf. Especially waking up to the smell of freshly brewed caf. Strong but comforting and gently coaxing back into the world of the living. It meant there was company. It meant he wasn’t alone.

He did not wake up to the smell of fresh caf. Instead, the first thing that breaks through to him is the pungent smell of disinfectant. Sharp and biting, and he wrinkles his nose as if that could keep the smell from getting to him. It doesn’t.

He wants to cover his face with his hand, but something is holding him back. It feels like a needle is stuck to the vein on the back of his hand.

“Shh, quiet,” someone quite close to him demands. “I think he’s waking up.”

For a moment his eyes protest at the sudden glaring whiteness around him, but after blinking a few times it slowly starts to get better and he’s able to take in his surroundings.

To his surprise he knows where he is. He’s only been here once, for a quick check up, but there’s no doubt about it. It’s the sickbay of the Massassi rebel base, located on the fourth moon orbiting the red gas giant Yavin, just behind the borderlands of the Mid Rim, already in the Outer Rim Territory.

It amuses him that the first thing his brain does is spout information about orbital dynamics and interstellar territories, instead of being surprised that he’s even alive to do so.

“Had a good dream, sleeping beauty?” A second voice, Jyn, Bodhi realizes, asks. “You’re smiling.”

He looks to the side and finds the bed he’s in surrounded with familiar faces. Jyn is perched on stool next to the foot of the bed where Cassian stands, his left arm in a cast and held up by a sling around his neck, the other resting on the bed rail. It must have been him who’d called for silence just now. Baze and Chirrut are there too, a bit further away, apparently having talked to a medical droid, but stopping now.

“I…” Bodhi starts, but breaks off. His voice sound rough, but considering the scratching in his throat, the roughness shouldn’t come as a surprise. He clears his throat, carefully, and tries again. He doesn’t really know what to say though, so he just settles for a short, “yeah”.

On second thought though...

“How... how long have I been out?”

“You've been sleeping a full five days, you had us worried.”

“Oh…” Five days? Force, he hadn’t expected that. Although, his last memory was the blurred image of stars zooming by. He hadn’t expected to wake up again.

“Jyn's right, sleeping beauty really does fit.” Cassian gives him a short smile, then motions with his head towards him. “How are you feeling?” he asks. “They reduced some of your meds yesterday, thought it’d help you wake up, but I can get them to up the painkillers again if you need it.”

“Why would I need painkillers?” Bodhi asks. He’s pleased to find his voice is already sounding firmer, still a bit croaky, but getting better.

The question seems to worry Cassian, and Jyn’s smile fades. She reaches out and stops shortly before her hand touches his leg through the thin white sheet covering him.

“Don't be alarmed,” she says and puts her hand down where his shin is under the sheet.

Despite Jyn's warning, Bodhi's heart rate spikes when he feels that he feels - nothing.

Or rather not much. The part that she touches gives off a slight tingling sensation. His heartbeat spikes and the screen above his bed gives a sharp warning beep.

“Stars, am I-”

“No,” Cassian interrupts quickly. “No, the doctors say you're going to be alright again. There was a shrapnel in your back. They removed it, but it pinched a nerve and it'll still take some more time for the feeling in your legs to come back. But then the pain will probably too, so they're keeping you dosed up preemptively.”

Bodhi nods and listens quietly when the medical droid takes over, giving him a quick recap of his other injuries. It seems like the two guardians had prevented the worst by getting him far away enough from the explosion, and the bacta treatment had already taken care of the burns he’d received. He still has a few minor cuts and bruises from being thrown against the cargo crates by the shock wave, but apparently it’s best to let his body heal those by itself. Although, the droid says he’s required to remain under medical supervision for at least one if not two more weeks and undergo daily physio to get back on his feet, literally.

Bodhi swallows. He nods again when the med droid asks whether he grasped his situation and agrees with the proposed treatment. He mumbles a quiet, “Yes”, as well, because he doesn’t know what else to say. He doesn’t mind getting daily physio. He doesn’t mind that it will take time for him to heal. Maybe that’s what he needs most now. It’ll give him time to realize that he is still alive. And maybe, only maybe, it’ll even give him time to find his place in this new life.

While getting a list of all the dos and don’ts he’s supposed to follow, he watches the others. Baze and Chirrut seem mostly okay from what he can see. They’ve both somehow managed to find clothing similar to what they had worn before… but with less burn holes in them.  

The same goes for Jyn, a couple of mostly faded scrapes and bruises on her face and arms, visible due to the rolled up shirt sleeves. She’s playing with a corner of the bed linen, concentrating on letting it glide through her freshly healed fingers, while the med droid notes they all must have had an incredible amount of luck before telling Bodhi he shouldn’t try walking without crutches for two more days.

It crosses Bodhi’s mind that not every injury has to be physical. He of all people should know that best.

The most noticeable injury is probably Cassian’s cast and the way he seems to be careful not lean much onto his left side. There’s a cut on his cheek too, surrounded by a dark discoloration that must have been quite deep to still be visible. It will probably leave a scar. Looking at the cut that runs along the line of Cassian’s cheekbone, Bodhi catches himself thinking it’s a shame.

Maybe he lingers on Cassian’s face a bit too long, because Cassian meets his eyes, looking amused. “Hey, listen. This is important.”

The droid is nearly finished when a comlink beeps. To Bodhi’s surprise it’s not Cassian who pulls the device out of his pocket, but Jyn. She gets up and answers, the voice on the other end sounding familiar, Bodhi associates it with one of the senators at the meeting right before they had left. He is proven right when she finishes with the words, “Yes, Senator, on my way.”

Jyn lets the comlink disappear into her pocket again and gives Bodhi an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I gotta go.” Turning to Cassian, she says, “Take care of our pilot,” before patting his back, her hand gliding over it, and slipping out the door.

It’s an easy, natural kind of touch and Cassian keeps looking at the door as it hisses shut again. For a moment Bodhi wonders what happened in the time he was knocked out. Did something happen between them? It wouldn’t be surprising, all things considered.

Before he can think any longer on this possibility, or what he thinks of it, Baze’s voice snaps him from his thoughts. “You look exhausted, you should get some more rest.”

When the two guardians turn to leave, Cassian stands a bit straighter, making a move as if to follow them. “We’ve kept you awake quite a bit, huh. Do you want me to leave too, so you can sleep?”

“No, don’t,” Bodhi says quickly, trying to sit up and reach for him. “I mean, please stay. If you can, that is,” he adds, easing back down onto the bed again.

Cassian chuckles. “It’s fine. I can.”

He sits down on the stool Jyn vacated earlier and starts telling Bodhi what he’s missed. A tale of a princess, a farmboy and a scoundrel.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to yell at me in the comments below or on tumblr :D


	3. Small Steps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to [ SassySnowperson](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DramaticEntrance/pseuds/SassySnowperson) and [ ANTchan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ANTchan) for cheering me on, listening to my whining and making this chapter a lot better.

The following days turn into a first week, soon cutting into a second. The physio is starting to actually work and more feeling returns to his legs day by day. Surprisingly, the pain isn’t as bad as expected and it doesn’t take much to keep it under control. The main thing he’s still suffering from, honestly, is utter boredom with a tinge of loneliness. 

Jyn has her hands full with working for the rebellion. Just cleared by medical, she’s already been tasked with several missions - the most recent involving going off on her own to collect intel from some shady middleman - but every now and then she still finds the time to visit in-between. She tells him about the places she’s been, as far as the integrity of the mission allows it. He can’t even begin to tell her how much he appreciates her company. And misses it when she’s gone. 

“You should’ve seen the guy, Bodhi. He had a head this size and still didn’t seem like he could count to ten.” Sitting next to him, she gestures a head shape caught somewhere between a pumpkin and a melon. It’s not very flattering. “I never thought he’d even know how to hold a blaster. Never underestimate anyone, I guess.” 

“First thing you learn in Intelligence.” 

Bodhi turns around and sees Cassian standing under the door. He comes to Jyn and Bodhi; apparently in the med bay to get a new dressing. He still isn’t fit for duty. When he sits on the side of the bed next to Bodhi's, the med droid already swoops down on him. 

“Captain Andor!” The droid sounds more than a little indignant. “I have commed you five times this morning. Captain, you realize medical has authority over  _ all  _ divisions,  _ including  _ Intelligence.”

Cassian gives a gruff sound. “I heard.”

“And yet you did not come. Really, humans. Always so irresponsible with their lives.”

“I’m here now,” he says, as if that’s all that counts to him, and slips his arm out of the sling.

The droid comes over, somehow making a sound that strongly resembled a huff. “About time, I say.”

Whoever programmed these droids must have had a fun time writing sassy-come-back coding.

Bodhi can’t help a little smile. Jyn snickers. Cassian quarreling with a med droid, that sounds like him. You’d think he’d be used to droid-sass by now, Kaytoo providing excellent training. 

“Quiet in the cheap seats,” Cassian grunts, but Bodhi sees his mouth quirk up at one side.

The med droid pulls up a small scanning device and holds it in front of Cassian’s chest. 

“Lean back, please.” The device hums and whirrs and after a few minutes the droid announces, “Ribs two and three are progressing well, healing process eighty percent completed. Four will need approximately another five days. Not that that is surprising; it was broken in three places.” 

Bodhi and Jyn both look at Cassian reproachfully. They knew about his arm, obviously, but it’s the first time they’ve heard about this. 

“I’m fine. It’s not too bad, I’ve had worse.” He makes a waving motion with his good arm, dismissing their worried looks. 

It’s answers like that that make Bodhi’s stomach churn. 

Once the droid finishes the treatment - or rather Cassian decides that his treatment is finished - he slides down his bed, moving over to sit on Bodhi’s. 

Jyn nudges his shoulder, “Move, Bo.” and simply gets in next to Bodhi, claiming it’s not fair that only he gets to be comfortable. 

Bodhi scoots over more than willingly. 

He hates being confined to the med bay. He knows the number of tiles on the ceiling, knows that the third tile on the left above the entrance has a crack running it diagonally, and knows the staff roster by heart. 

Bodhi can’t tell whose visits he enjoys more, Jyn squeezing herself into his bed under some pretext or Cassian hiding his care under his usual gruff exterior? Just as he can’t tell who he misses more when the visit is over. 

But it’s days like those he treasures. When they both visit him. Together. 

“Hey, Bodhi,” Jyn starts, and Bodhi’s chest clenches. It’s the tone of voice she uses for goodbyes. “Listen, I know I said I’d be here when they discharge you and I’m sorry.”

She honestly looks contrite, but he understands. They all have a task, a job, a role to play in it all. 

All, except for him. He’s just sitting here, waiting.

He doesn’t say that, though. Only asks, “Where to? Do you know that yet?”

“The Abrion system. The rest’s confidential, sorry,” she says again. “Draven would have my head if I told you.”

“Not just yours,” Cassian adds grimly. 

For some reason Draven has started to associate the three of them with each other. 

“‘s fine. Just wish I could come with you, though.”

Cassian, too, looks longingly at the prospect of getting to make himself useful, though he doesn’t say anything. 

Jyn sighs and moves away a strand of hair that had fallen into her view. “I know it sucks to be locked in here and wish you could come with me, but you need to get better first.” She puts her hand on his shoulder, squeezing it in sympathy. “Okay?”

A nod is all Bodhi can bring himself to do. 

“Take care,” he says as she slips out of the bed, leaving the space beside him cold and empty. 

“I will.” Jyn gives him one last look. “Promise.” 

Together with Cassian, he watches her go. 

***

When he first decides to try walking unassisted, it is late at night. He doesn’t want everyone to witness his clumsy first steps.

He’s not very steady on his feet, but he manages to get over to a med supply closet just fine. No one will miss the pair of crutches. Just as no one will miss him for a little while.

He makes it as far as two steps – or two hobbles, to put it precisely – past the med bay doors, before he walks into someone’s chest, an arm catching him just before he loses balance and falls. In his surprise, he lets go of the crutches and they clatter noisily to the ground, the sound echoing through the otherwise quiet corridor. When Bodhi looks up again, he is greeted by a pair of stern brown eyes regarding him, brows drawn together into a frown. 

“Cassian, hi…. Is your arm okay?” 

Cassian ignores it. “Aren’t you still under bed rest?” He sounds suspicious. Checking Bodhi is safely back in his feet and won't fall again should he let go, Cassian bends to pick up the crutches with his good arm, handing them back. “What are you doing, Bodhi?” 

“Does it count if I say walking?” Bodhi tries for a smile, but it’s probably crooked and more than a little sheepish. It’s like he’s back being eight years old and got caught nicking a piece of jaquira fruit from his uncle’s kitchen. 

Cassian’s frown only increases. 

“Not really. Are you cleared from medical yet? I didn’t hear anything.” Bodhi turns his head away and stubbornly looks to the side. Cassian gets his drift. “Uh-huh. I see.”

Bodhi’s head snaps back up. He looks Cassian right in the eyes, a pleading, but also determined look in his own. He’s rested enough. He needs to get back on his feet if he wants to be of use. And he wants to. Force, he wants. Somehow he’d already known it when he defected: Should he survive, it would only be the start. 

“Come on, I want to get out of here. I’m gonna get cabin fever if I stay in here any longer.” If anyone would understand, Bodhi is sure, it’s Cassian. He wouldn't call a med droid on Bodhi for this. Or would he? “Cass... Please.”

Cassian says nothing. He waits. Then he presses his lip together - and falters. 

“I shouldn’t encourage you, but…” He pauses, taking a breath to prepare himself saying something he shouldn't. “Word is, Jyn will be back tonight. She commed about an hour ago.”

“Already?” He’d thought she’d be gone longer and he can’t help the excited tone slipping into his voice. 

The long, eventless days in the med bay had felt even more dull without her visits. It’s not that Cassian never visits, he does, whenever his schedule allows it, but it’s not the same. Cassian usually keeps his distance. Sits on a nearby chair and only sometimes - mostly back when Bodhi had spent more time asleep than awake - he’d sat on the edge of the bed. Bodhi still isn’t sure whether or not he’s only imagined the hand brushing over his forehead one night. He’d always reacted funny to strong painkillers. 

Jyn, on the other hand… Jyn is different. As crude as her mouth can be and as strong the shield around her heart is, she’s still kind in the end, soft. He’s missed her warmth next to him and a pleasant tickle spreads in his chest as he thinks of her return. 

A warmth he shouldn’t get used to, he reminds himself. 

Cassian nods slowly, very slowly and Bodhi can’t help but wonder if this is the reason Cassian is awake and walking around base at night. The corridor past the med bay leads directly to the hangar. He’s glad she's coming back, the warm feeling around his heart proof of that. And yet...

Cassian and Jyn get along well. They’re both fighters, lone soldiers who sometimes care more about others than themselves. They understand each other. It would make sense. For them to spend time together. Without him. 

Something writhes inside him. Like a rope coiling up in his stomach. He pushes it aside, blames the feeling on the fact that he’d given dinner a miss earlier. He doesn’t feel hungry, though. 

They’d make a good couple. Maybe they already are. He’d be happy for them, Bodhi thinks. They deserve something besides fighting in this life.  After the war…  maybe they’ll settle down somewhere together. Find a nice, far-off colony and start over again. To get a chance at finding peace in each other’s company, in each other’s arms.

Yeah, he really would be happy for them. The idea makes him smile. 

Nearly. 

They’re his … friends. The two people he cares most about and he wants the best for them. So why does he feel a sting in his heart? As much as he wants to deny it, as small as it may be, it’s there. And it’s not going away. 

Cassian’s voice pulls him from his thoughts. 

“Want to come with me?” he asks. “Go greet her?” 

Bodhi shoos away the weird feeling, pushes it back into the corner of his mind where it came from, and nods. 

“Yeah, I'd like that.” 

He uses one crutch and Cassian carries the other, supporting Bodhi with his free hand, having it wrapped around his side as Bodhi holds on to his shoulder. Even through the thick jacket, Bodhi can still feel the warmth radiating off Cassian. It’s not cold on Yavin - the slightly tropical climate and the stone walls of the temple always keep the base well tempered - but today his fingers feel cold and he is grateful for the warmth. 

After nearly two weeks of bed rest, walking is strenuous and the noticeable pull in his back reminds Bodhi of why he’s been in the medbay in the first place. The nerves that had been pinched are still irritated, but if he can believe the doctor he’d talked with this morning, then the remaining twinge is a sign that he’s healing quickly. It also reminds him that he’s alive.

Still, he takes small, careful steps and walking is going well enough that he only needs to use his second crutch when they’re nearly at the hangar. Since hadn’t expected to make it this far, he counts it as a victory. It still hurts a bit, but he straightens his back and keeps his head held high, enjoying the simple fact of seeing something different than the medbay walls and having managed so out of his own efforts. He’s getting better. After all those weeks of being chained to a bed, he’s got his freedom back. What’s a little discomfort compared to that?

They arrive just in time to watch as the shuttle is marshalled into the hangar. The ramp of the small transporter opens and Jyn gets out, stopping in surprise once she spots Cassian and Bodhi, the small backpack in her hand dropping to the floor.

When she comes closer, Bodhi gets a better look at her. His stomach tweaks. She looks like the most sleep she’s gotten was maybe a nap in the pilot’s seat and there is a nasty new bruise on her face. Before Bodhi or Cassian can say anything, she waves it off with a flippant, “You should see the other guy.” She pauses, a little smirk tugging up the left corner of her mouth. “Guys,” she corrects herself. “I didn’t expect a welcoming committee, though. Missed me?” 

She walks over and hugs them both, quickly, then proceeding to kiss first Cassian’s cheek then Bodhi’s. It sends his heart aflutter and while trying to keep the dumb grin off his face, it doesn’t even occur to him to tease her for the fact that she has to stand on tiptoes to reach up. It’s probably wiser not to, anyway.  

Apparently, Cassian thinks so too. “You’re too affectionate. Should I be worried?” he asks sarcastically.

Jyn just shrugs. “Half a week alone in a shuttle does that to you. Don’t get used to it,  _ Andor _ .” A little quieter she adds, “Never thought there’d be a time I’d miss company…”

Bodhi laughs a bit louder than he would have, not sure if he's just covering for her or struck by the irony that he used to feel the same.  “Yeah, it really does. The quiet can be a lot sometimes.” 

“Do you want eat something?” Cassian asks Jyn. “Or just clean up and sleep?” 

“I’m dead tired, but a bite doesn’t sound too bad.” 

“The mess hall?” Bodhi proposes with a shrug of his shoulders. “Should be empty by now.” 

“Sounds good.” Jyn turns around and goes back to get her backpack. Halfway there, she stops. “Are you coming too?” 

Cassian looks at his arm, then at Bodhi's crutches. He shrugs off whatever had crossed his mind. “Sure. Just give us a head-start.” 

“You wish,” Jyn calls.

She quickly gathers up her gear and jogs back up to them, flanking Bodhi on the other side. Together they exit the hangar. Cassian’s arm is around his waist and he can still feel Jyn’s lips on his cheek. Is this what it feels like to be content? 

He doesn’t know. All he knows is that this, Jyn and Cassian at his side, together with him, feels right. Even though it might be better if it wouldn’t. Better for them all. 

Bodhi knows it’s probably too late already to stop his heart. He’s starting to get used to this.

 


	4. The Calm Before The Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to [ ANTchan ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ANTchan)who listened to my whining and convinced me this chapter wasn't as [redacted] as I thought. <3 
> 
> **Chapter warning for Emotional Hurt/Comfort.** They've all lost family along the way... But maybe they also gained some?
> 
> This chapter is set after an about two months time skip and Bodhi is officially out of the med bay.

The mess hall is crowded. Loud and noisy as always during dinner time, and Bodhi sits on one of the benches close to the wall, opposite of Jyn and Cassian.

He watches the latter fold up a piece of flatbread into smaller, bite-sized pieces and dipping it in his bowl. Cassian eats quickly, Bodhi notes, seeming itchy to get back to the datapad that lies upside down besides his food tray with the bowl of spicy stew and sweet-tasting flatbread.

In his time on the rebel base, Bodhi has noticed that Cassian seems to be fairly well acquainted with one of the pathfinders, a sergeant named Dameron. He'd trusted his former second-in-command, too, but Melshi's name had been on the long list of names read to commemorate their fallen comrades.

But besides Dameron, Bodhi hasn't seen anyone else Cassian might be close with. He wouldn't even go as far as calling Dameron and Melshi 'good friends' of Cassian's. Their relationship is more that of trusted battle companions, less that of close friends. Cassian Andor doesn't seem to have friends.

Even though Cassian eats quick, Jyn is usually the first to finish. Despite not eating hastily, she still can't seem to shake off a certain urgency. Like she has to eat before she needs to leave again, run, take cover, fight. She keeps with her back to the wall and occasionally her eyes dart over to the nearest exit.

It crosses Bodhi's mind that before - before Scarif, before Eadu, before Jedha - it must have been the same. Each of them sitting somewhere on their own. Lonely. He imagines Cassian alone in a corner of the mess hall, quietly and efficiently eating whatever is on the menu and just as quietly leaving once he's done. Imagines Jyn with her back to a rough wall, eyes roving into the shadows for threats.

The habit has started to fade for both of them over the past two months, but a life alone on the edge of survival leaves it's marks on a person. Marks that can be hidden, marks that can heal, but marks that will never be gone for good.

Bodhi always ate alone in his shuttle. Rations most often, eating them at his own pace, not restricted to meal times. Sometimes he'd been to the mess halls of the bases he'd delivered cargo to, but there, too, he'd been alone in the sea of strict Imperial uniformity. Very much like the meals at the Flight Academy. It has been a very long time since he's had a meal with family.

"Not hungry?"

Under the table, he feels someone nudge leg. When he lifts his head, Jyn looks right at him, her empty tray pushed aside, spoon neatly placed next to the bowl.

"Sorry, what did you say?"

"You haven't even touched your food since we sat down," she says, pointing at his still full bowl. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm… I'm good." To make sure she believes his words, he picks up a piece of his bread and dips it in the stew. "Just got caught up in thought a bit."

"Okay."

Jyn nods knowingly, although she keeps him fixed with her green eyes until she actually sees him chewing the first bite, and only then the concerned look dies down.

It's what they do. They stick together and look out for each other, now that Chirrut and Baze have left. Counting today, it's been about a week since they'd said they were going to 'take it slow in their old days'. Bodhi doubts neither of the guardians fully comprehends the word 'old.' Chirrut would call beating up a unit of troopers on a marketplace "picking up groceries."

But as things do, they change, and so now it's just him, Jyn and Cassian. Three loners, trying not to be lonely anymore.

Bodhi wipes a smudge of grease off of his wrist. Since he's out of the med bay, he's made himself useful by going around helping with all kinds of repairs around base. The Rebellion's equipment is continuously on the verge of breaking down and everyone with the slightest hint of talent when it comes to electronics is greatly appreciated. So for most of the past two months, that's been his job.

Well, until a few days ago.

"Hey there, Rook." A slap between the shoulder blades makes him turn around. He looks up and into blue eyes and messy blond hair, a bright white smile topping it off. Luke Skywalker. "Congrats on making the squadron," he says. "You're a fellow pilot now!"

"Suppose I am," Bodhi mumbles, letting his hand with the bread sink and feeling a little guilty at Jyn's disapproving look. Luckily, she then sets to pester Cassian about taking a break for once and tries to snatch the datapad from his hands.

The smile on Luke's face spreads even further. He's a cheerful young man, Bodhi thinks.

They'd just walked into each other one day after Bodhi's discharge. Naturally they'd started talking and along the way ended up becoming friends. Bodhi suspects Luke hopes for a little more than just friends, but he hasn't yet found a way to gently tell him that he considers Luke a bit too young for him. Then again, Bodhi could be reading this wrong.

"So, that means I'm gonna see you tomorrow at training?" Luke asks.

Bodhi nods. "0800, right?"

"Yup, that's right. 0800 at the South wing. See you tomorrow, then. Good luck, Rook."

Luke pats Bodhi's shoulder two times more in congratulations before sauntering off to take a seat at the table occupied by Antilles and the rest of Rogue Squadron. Antilles quickly scoots over to make space for Luke. A little too quickly maybe. Bodhi hopes that Luke figures it out soon.

Behind Luke and Antilles' table, he sees the mess hall door opening again, the surly figure of General Daven entering and quietly getting in line for the evening meal. Bodhi remembers the last time Draven had talked to him well. It had been just a few days ago, after all.

He had already been interrogated once. Right after he'd first set foot onto the base, before Command had allowed his and Jyn's presence at the council meeting. Despite Cassian vouching for his help on Eadu, he'd been sat in a small room with a short and burly Antarian, answering question after question and proving he truly had defected and wasn't still secretly engaging in espionage for the Empire.

The interrogation after he'd been released from medical was different. As opposed to the first one, it never really happened. In the official records, that is.

_He finds Draven waiting for him in a dark corridor. He opens the door to an empty conference room and leads Bodhi inside, a small, dimly glowing datapad in his hand._

" _You're are a qualified pilot, Mr Rook. You've shown it to us before and the data in your file," Draven lifts the datapad, "agrees to that. You've been trained at the Imperial Flight Academy, although… you never passed the final test admitting you to fly fighter crafts."_

_Bodhi tries his best not to sound intimidated by the general's stare. He had managed to look Saw Gerrera straight in the face, he can handle Draven. Hopefully._

" _I know that. Why are you telling me this… Sir?"_

 _Draven is blunt with his answer. "High Command decided to give you a position in the Starfighter_ _Corps_ _."_

" _Why-" He breaks off and swallows. "Why would you give me this position?"_

_Bodhi knows he is a qualified pilot and the Alliance has use for a man with his qualifications, no need to deny it, but he also carries the mark of a defector. Why would they trust a man that's changed sides once already? Was it his actions on Scarif? The connection to Galen Erso?_

_The general with the cold stare makes it clear why._

" _Your Imperial file has been updated, too. Not just ours," Draven says. "The Empire knows you are alive, Mr Rook, and there's a price on your head. A high one, if I may say so. They do not take well to defectors, after all. And to answer your question," Draven's upper lip curls into an intimidating smile. "We know you wouldn't betray us, Mr Rook, because there would be no safe place in the galaxy left or you."_

_Something in Bodhi's stomach tightens. It curls up into anger at the threat and the burning urge to set things straight. To state once and for all who his loyalty belongs to. So he says what he'd said before. The situation feels nearly identical, just that he didn't have a bag pulled over his head this time._

" _I_ defected _." He stares at Draven, holding his gaze, and it costs Bodhi just about everything not to look away. Still, he speaks clearly, his voice unwavering. "I'm a rebel now."_

_Draven's face doesn't soften. He shows no reaction other than the wrinkles around his eyes relaxing the slightest bit._

" _Good," is all he says, as if the threat had never left his mouth. "Garven Dreis is the leader of your squadron. Any questions he can't answer, go to General Merrick, he's in charge of Starfighter Command."_

_And with that he walks away. Leaving Bodhi alone in the dim and empty conference room, coming to terms with yet another unexpected twist in his life._

Now, several days later in the mess hall, the idea of him as a fighter pilot still feels foreign to Bodhi. He knows his file must have mentioned that he failed the test for becoming a TIE pilot. Draven had told him as much. But it probably didn't mention the reason he failed it. While he loves being in the air, loves the feeling of speed and freedom, did so every since he's been old enough to participate in speeder races, what doesn't sit well with him is pulling a trigger. Pushing the buttons that ultimately lead to another ship being blown to smithereens, along with its pilot.

But whatever his feelings on the subject are, it doesn't matter anymore. From tomorrow onwards he's an X-Wing pilot, he'll have to get used to it. For better or for worse.

Good luck, indeed.

***

After dinner he doesn't immediately go to his quarters. It's late and he knows he should, but he doesn't like leaving things unfinished and the broken generator he'd been working on the past week is nearly fixed. Just a couple more hours and the job would be done.

He ends up spending more that just couple more hours. He isn't surprised to find it's already past midnight when he wipes his hands on his coveralls and gets up from the half-squatting position in front of the generator.

He quietly enters the code to his quarters and just as quietly tiptoes through the room to the 'fresher unit, past the second bed where the scrawny blanket rises and lowers with Jyn's breaths.

Since he doesn't have to spend all day and night in the med bay anymore, he's been sharing medium sized crew quarters with Jyn. Cassian already has his own officer's quarters, a small room he shares with Kaytoo - one of the few benefits of his captain's rank that he didn't decline. For space reasons, Bodhi and Jyn, as the two newcomers, had been assigned rooming together.

Living with Jyn is good, even though it's taken some time for them to adapt, to get used to each other's quirks and habits. Bodhi is a night owl, awake late and grumpy in the morning, while Jyn goes to bed early and rises just as soon. He sleeps with a blanket drawn up to his ears. She prefers to sleep with a blaster under her pillow.

Tonight it goes well for the better part of the night.

The scream still makes his whole body jerk, startling Bodhi awake and in an upright position in less than a second. Through the haze he can hear Jyn thrashing on her bed.

He slips out of his bed quickly, moving over and waking her with a gentle, careful touch to the shoulder. He doesn't want her blaster at his temple, after all.

Jyn sits up, blinking and looking at Bodhi with eyes wide from darkness. Shaking all over, she draws her knees to herself. He sits down next to her and opens his arms, offering the space inside them. He'd never just hug her in such a moment. If she ended up breaking his jaw in a panic, they'd only both be sorry afterward.

After a moment she leans into his arms, her voice quiet once she finds it again.

"I keep… I keep seeing him. His face… when he… in the rain. The explosion..."

Bodhi doesn't need to ask who she means. She shivers, and he carefully wraps his arms more securely around her. She feels so much smaller, here in the dark, than she does during the day.

"Shh…You're not back there, you're here. There are no explosions. You're safe, you're with me."

Listening to the soothing words he repeats over and over, her shaking eventually subsides as she becomes more awake. The pained expression stays.

"I found him again, Bodhi," Jyn whispers. "After all those years, I found him again. Before, not even in my wildest dreams, did I let myself believe he might still be alive. It wasn't easy to think him dead, but it was hell of a lot easier than thinking he wasn't. It would have been too much."

The breath she takes in sounds ragged, pained by memory. Talking seems to help, though, they've established that in the nights before, so Bodhi waits. Waits for her to collect herself and listen what's going through her head.

"Then this..." Her hands let go of his arm and she gestures around in the darkness of the room. "This  _everything_ began. And I found my father again, the father I thought was dead since I was a child… He did wrongs, he wasn't perfect, I know that, but he was still my father. And in the end, we had two minutes together. Two minutes in which he was alive again for me. Then he went back to the dead."

Galen Erso, the Imperial scientist, turned farmer, turned inside man. He hadn't featured much in their late night talks until now, despite the frequent calls of his name. What Bodhi knows about Galen Erso stems from what little the Alliance officer interviewing him after their return from Eadu Flight Station had been willing to give him. That, mixed with his own memories of Galen.

Who was he to Bodhi? A father figure? Bodhi had a father, even though he's been buried in the sands of Jedha for two decades now. A traitor? The Empire regarded him as a traitor, too. Someone that had used him? For something considered the greater good.

Everything aside, Bodhi supposes, he's still grateful to Galen Erso. Whatever the scientist's motives had been, in the end he provided the final and necessary push for Bodhi to recognize what was really happening to the shipments he flew and finally turn his back toward the Empire. As close to death as that meeting in the cantina on Eadu Flight station had brought him, ultimately it had lead him to a life that allowed him to look into a mirror again.

"Are you a believer, Jyn?" he asks. "On Jedha, the priests of the Great Temple used to preach that no one is ever really gone, that our loved ones are still with us, connected to us through the Force and our faith."

It's a comforting thought. In darker times, when the Empire's grip around the moon had started tightening, when his father had died and his mother stopped smiling, it felt like a thought too comforting to be true.

Maybe something in his eyes shone through, because Jyn looks at him, thoughtful and just a bit concerned.

"Are you?" she asks then.

Bodhi is quiet for moment, a timespan as long as three heartbeats. Under the blanket, they are close enough for him to notice that the rhythm of Jyn's heart has calmed down since her scream had woken them both earlier.

"I'm not sure. My mother was a firm believer - oh, she was - but she was old enough to have witnessed some of the legends of the Jedi Order as a kid. All I ever heard were the legends. That, and the words of the Temple Guardians. When I was in the Imperial Academy... you see parts of the Empire, you hear stories... Other beliefs, other views, and fearsome tales of the Empire's atrocities. Some of them really make it hard to believe that it's possible for the good and the bad to ever be in balance in this galaxy. But then again…"

He takes a deep breath, trying to unclench his hands that had involuntarily balled up into fists.

"These last few months gave me hope there's a chance after all. Because, against the odds, we lived, didn't we? Lived and won. So there must be a reason for that and I'm willing to accept the Force as this reason."

"Yeah, maybe." Jyn leans closer against him. "I don't remember much from when we lived on Coruscant, I was too small. But what I heard from my mother, believing in the Force was frowned upon, more even. Looking back, I think she did it out of spite first. Wearing her kyber necklace under her shirts was her own private rebellion, even before we even left."

She feels for the leather string of her necklace, pulling it out of the collar of her night shirt. What little light is in the room breaks in the crystal and dances over the dark walls.

"It's hard to believe in the Force when everywhere you look, life hits you in the face with its irony. But it also makes some things easier when you believe. My father... It gives me hope that he's still around. Around me and around us." She lets the necklace drop and looks down at her hands again. "Now it's him that's stardust."

"You take after her," Bodhi says. He never met Lyra Erso, obviously, and neither had Galen mentioned her other than saying he'd been married once. Nevertheless, Bodhi is sure that Jyn is undoubtedly Lyra Erso's daughter.

A small smile builds on her face.

Bodhi is silent for a while, then he takes her hand, feeling her fingers curls around his as Jyn squeezes back.

"Come on," he says, and gets off the bunk.

Her hand still in his, Jyn looks up at him. "Where are we going?"

"It's nearly sunrise."

After quickly dressing themselves, they step out onto the corridor of the still quiet base. Not far from their quarters, they run into Cassian coming their way. He somehow awkwardly straightens the beige shirt under his jacket as he stands before them.

"I, uh, I was just on my way to wish you good luck," he says. "For later."

"Just at the right moment." Bodhi smiles. "Come with us?"

Whatever Cassian wanted to say, he swallows it down and nods.

A small ladder that leads to a hatch opens opening to the top of the Massassi Temple. They sit down, feet over the edge, Bodhi in the middle of Cassian and Jyn. The stone is still cool under his hands, but it slowly warms up by the first light that creeps up from over the hills.

"Sometimes I feel like I need to get away from everything to breathe, and this is a good place for that. Figured we all could use a moment to breathe."

"In all my years, I never went up here." There's an unmistakable awe in Cassian's voice.

Although, as a cargo pilot, Bodhi had been to many planets and visited a good dozen of different outposts, he'd never been to Cassian's homeworld. But from what he's heard, Fest is a cold, icy world. As hard and intimidating as its inhabitants, but beautiful to those that know how to deal with it.

Bodhi himself, though, is a child of the desert through and through. Used to sand and dust and bleak but still beautiful stone. Yavin is very different from the desert. The sky is framed by lush green tree tops, only interrupted by the weathered stone of the large temple pyramids.

"I never noticed how beautiful they sky could be." Jyn lowers her voice to barely more than a whisper. "I didn't look up, after all."

The sky here looks different from Jedha. Like many desert planets, Jedha used to have incredibly clear nights, perfect for stargazing or waiting to catch the tail of a comet zoom by. There had also been days where a sandstorm clouded the sky and left the air and dusty for days until it slowly settled down again. Or until the rain washed the sky clean again. It was a miracle all on its own.

A miracle that is no longer. His chest constricts and breathing threatens to become as hard as in the middle of a sandstorm, his hand starting to tremble.

"We're here," Cassian says as he puts his hand on top of Bodhi's, stopping the tremor from spreading. "You're not alone anymore either."

"Cassian is right." Jyn holds onto his arm as she leans against Bodhi, grounding him in the present. "We're here for you, just as you are for us."

Taking a deep breath, Bodhi looks over the treetops of the moon. The sun is slowly rising, bathing the dark green in golden morning light. It's calm. Like the calm before the storm.

"Thank you," he says.

 


End file.
